Sunday, October 11, 2015

Teami - an honest review

 Hi ya Gorgeous,
So today I have a review for you and it's a lil bit sideways.

See, things come and go to the blog in waves. One week, it's all skincare. Next, week, it's all color.
And now? This week?
It was all teas!

So I tried the Teami Colon Cleanse tea as an added part to my 28 day detox.

Here is my experience.

I received a sample of the Teami Colon Cleanse and tried it three times.

 The package comes with 15 silk triangle bags. Purty lil suckers!

 I semi-followed the directions which is fairly on par for me. The directions say to use one tea bag, every other night. To steep the tea bag between 1-3 minutes before drinking. You have the choice to add honey or lemon if you like. Trust me. You are going to need it. This stuff tastes like dirt smells.

 So here is how it went down. In my body, it took about 5 hours for this to kick in. Since the directions said "at night" I drank before bed. At 2:38 a.m. in the morning I awoke from a deeply medicated sleep with a nuclear urge to let something fly.

I barely made it through the dark in time to take care of the business at hand.
34 minutes later, all was done. I think I lost 2 pounds in that activity.

Enter, the next day. Not night. Nope. Day time for me. If I'm going to have an explosive urge that is tea induced, I want to be lucid and have the benefit of light.

I had severe belly cramps. Not just an uncomfortable twinge that says it's time to go, I mean a "break out in sweat holy hell what's happening here" kind of cramp.

28 minutes later, the paperwork is finished. It was a lot of pain, but not as big of a movement.
And that's okay.
My pants are loose as it is from the first time.

Third times a charm right?
Each time I have drank this tea, I really had to gag the warm dirt smelling tea water down. So this time I fixed it up with some honey. Mmm. Honey dirt water.

Things go according to the first two experiences although this time, my bum is on fire.

I get it. It's a colon cleanse. In my experience this was a colon exorcism.

Does Teami colon cleanse tea work? Yes it does.
Is it a violent expulsion? Yes, in my experience it was.

You can get your Teami Colon Cleanse Tea from and it's 15 bags for $24.49.

I am slightly curious if by my doubling up on my detox with the colon cleanse tea is why I had the belly cramps?

For science sake, I will try this again at the end of the month when my detox is over.
Expect a second report!
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